in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just had sex on a roof
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
