Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
