Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
