If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
