Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
