Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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