He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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