my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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