it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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