Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
