Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
