I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Drunk is not a location!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
