Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
