Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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