From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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