Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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