I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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