i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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