I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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