So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
