she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
