i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
