don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
