I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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