i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
