My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
