My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
