Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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