Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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