you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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