Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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