I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
