I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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