It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
