dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
