I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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