that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
