I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
