you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
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You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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