the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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