Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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