im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
