all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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