butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
