peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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