I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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