ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
