would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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