Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
