I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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