Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize