There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
