you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The best revenge is premature balding
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
