I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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