glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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