im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
