i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
