ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
