Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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