She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
