so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Come on in and take your pants off
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
