just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
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Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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